The Daily Life of Sweetpea[s]

There are days when I hold someone's beautiful infant, and I have to hand her over to someone else, because I feel the tears coming, and I don't want anyone to see. The baby I lost would be 9 months old now. There are days when I catch myself standing in the children's section at Ikea, staring at the tiny chairs and tiny tables. I start a tiny children's library on the bottom of my bookshelf--Goodnight Moon, Beatrix Potter, The Pokey Little Puppy. I order information on adoption, and when it comes, I lay on our bed with tears streaming down my face, totally overwhelmed.

Then there are Saturdays when I sleep in with my husband; we throw on old clothes and slowly make our way to brunch. We sit at a table in the sun, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. There are long evenings when we eat supper on the couch, then lay there and read or watch T.V. We talk about the book I'm reading. I give him drawing lessons there on the couch. We talk about work. I make us some hot tea. There are days when I work on artwork, visit the little girl I mentor, and come back home to exercise and do laundry in content silence. Days of long lunches with friends. Of art classes taught to interesting little people.