Thursday, August 03, 2006

Lizard on the Edge...

I've struggled with anxiety different times in my life. I was a very cautious child. I was definitely not a risk taker and I like to feel safe and 'in control'. My first panic attack happened in a Canal Street thrift shop in NYC while shopping with Sweetpea and a mutual friend A.K.. Whenever my kids get sick I instantly get a pit in my stomach until they are better. I worry-alot.

But friends would probably tell you that I am actually a very laid back person. I'm easy going and easy to laugh. My anxiety problems have always lurked behind the surface.

I have mentioned that I injured my back in June. Over the past month I have developed sciatica in my left leg and and have had ongoing tingling in my face and arms. I've been receiving a muscle release treatment that was sort-of working. I have slept 2 out of the last 6 nights.

But God is good. He shows us with loving kindness His Grace in the midst of our weakness. This week I have come to realize that I have not been improving because of my stress! It keeps me completely tight. I had truly under appreciated what stress can do to one's body. I think I've been under stress for many months and not really seen it. I could list the individual stressors, but they are a part of everyones lives and responsibilities.

I am feeling better today, but exhausted and humbled. Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with a neurologist who will probably tell me-"Your stressed. Keep seeing your chiropractor"

SO If Sweetpea can tackle her physical problems I can come out of hiding with mine. I struggle with fear and sometimes it utterly controls me. But I am a daughter of God and He has not given us a Spirit of Fear, but of a SOUND MIND and Joy and Love and Peace.......

"Lord, Let it be."

love you. thanks for sharing.
Lizard, we'll be praying for you. Stress is a booger as Stephen and I have come to find's sneaky the way it creeps up on you. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Keep us posted.
Lizard, I am sorry that this has made it so much more difficult to recuperate.

I have not struggled quite to the same point as you, but I identify a little bit in that my back will completely go out on me when I am under too much stress. When that happens, I can't even get myself out of bed. My husband has to help me to sit on the toilet (and to get back off it again) and he has to hold me up from behind so I can wash my face in the sink. Usually, I have no idea I am stressed out until my back goes out or my eye starts twitching.

Fortunately, it has been a while since any problems with my back arose.

I am praying for stress-relief and peace for you.
I can't believe I forgot to type this in the above comment:

thank you for sharing about this. I really appreciate it, and am touched by your vulnerability.
Diagnosis: I have general parathesias. Basically nothing scary. So I am on a new drug that will hopefully calm down my nervous system. I have been pretty the past few days! : ) I am hopeful. The tingling in my face does seem to be alleviating.
what is that? i looked it up and couldn't find a clear definition. hope you feel better soon!
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