Thursday, June 15, 2006

The Guide to Sam

Today Sam had gymnastics. I almost always stay and watch. I've tried to take a hand's off approach with his class, but I have always felt that I needed to hand a "Guide to Sam" to all his teachers, coaches, and therapists. Of course they need me to tell them about his language delay and how they will need to make sure that they really have his attention or he will miss what they are saying. He may look like he is in a different world, but he is listening. And by the way, he can get frustrated and become emotional. He may speak differently than his peers, but he is cognitively on par with them. (He really is smart!Please don't think him otherwise!) And whatever you do "Don't give him NUTS!!" (I'm also thinking, "please be patient,please show him kindness, please show him grace.....")

Today was no different than any other class. Sam tries to keep up and attempts everything asked. But he tires easily and doesn't catch all the details asked of him. So he may only do something halfway. When all the boys are there his half-interested coach half-attempts to help Sam. Today there were only 3 boys so his coach did work with him more. But I still sat in my chair watching Sam, clapping to myself when he managed to accomplish the activity and I cringed when he so obviously failed. I sat there wanting to run out to Sam and say, "like this buddy!" "put your arms higher" "follow me-I will show you" "look forward" "stop talking" Sam tires easily so by the end of the class he simply couldn't do what was asked because he simply stops processing the directions. He's too tired even to listen. I see his coach give-up in frustration as I have done a thousand times. The drive home is always in silence.

After class his coach walked up to another parent and asked her if her son could move up to SuperKids, the competitive group. This boy is Sam's age. I have to admit I wondered if I would ever hear someone ask me if Sam could move up to the 'advanced' group in anything. On the drive home I thought of all the sports Sam might excel in. He is really fast maybe he can be a sprinter like Andrew. He loves to climb. I finally pulled myself back to reality and reminded myself that sports are for enjoyment. I reminded myself that Sam is a sweet, sensitive child who loves his gymnastics class. He does not sense his present limitations.

Can any of you relate to what I experienced today?

Oh, sweet Sam. I know he's going to be a brilliant artist someday...He can communicate through his photographs perfectly.
Lizard, you sound like an exceptional mom.

I'll catch myself staring at James (six weeks) wondering what he will be like. Will we be understanding if he's not a self-driven over-achiever like both of his parents? How will we help him succeed? I pray that God will give us wisdom and patience to love this little guy however he needs it.
I think I am being forced to redefine 'success'. Success for Sam will look different than perhaps the average child. I remember the day it dawned on me that its children like Sam who become the 'Crocodile Hunters' and extreme sports guys! I am thankful to have a husband that would support any future path for his sons.

WG-Speaking of his photographs he took one recently that I really liked. I will post it.

You and I have never met, but I have heard lots about you and Sam from my sister in law, Sweetpea. (She loves Sam like her own, by the way!)

I was moved by this post. I think all of us as moms have had days like this no matter what our kids are like. I am not sure about what all you are dealing with, but I have a close friend whose son was/is a lot like Sam at his age. Her struggles are very similar to yours. He is now almost 9, in third grade and doing great in school. She is the greatest mom I know and I have learned valuable lessons from her about raising and loving sons. I know she could be a great source of encouragement to you. She is very open to sharing her experiences and the things that worked and did not work for their family. If you are interested, let me know and I can get her name and email address for you. She would love to hear from you if she could help in any way.

In the meantime, you are a wonderful mom. God made you just the way you are so that you could love Sam just the way he is. No child could ask for more.
Dixie Chick-
Thank you for your encouraging words! Sam has a language delay caused by an auditory processing issue. He also has elements of sensory integration disorder. He is maturing out of so many of his issues, but I still see him struggling with others.

I think sometimes I just need to be reminded of God's grace for Sam my own failings and fears.
Also, I just wanted to say that I love that picture of you and Sam.
I really appreciate your honesty. I have a feeling that you're going to be a great source of wisdom when we have kids. :)
It's nice to have you back!! I am waiting for the nose-ring picture.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?